Don't F Up Now!

No image this time, got too much to do. I didn't check my email on Monday and it turns out I'm in the top three designers in a design contest. Woohoo! We'll see if we can win this thing; if not, it's still progress.

Meanwhile, the job search continues, but it's hard to leave when it's your dream job, even if the pay's been cut so drastically. Sure, I can justify it by saying we're in a re-building stage, but there's bills to pay.

A Fork in the Road

Well, I just deposited my first consulting check. Now what? Go down the normal employment path or strike out on my own? Consulting was a lot of fun. Full-time employment has better benefits. Hm.

Doing It for Future Me

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now."

I've been feeling a little dejected in my job search. I don't have a high opinion of my resume, I don't think I can pad it with any good keywords to get past the automated filters without feeling sleazy. What is one to do? Search the interwebs for some encouragement, that's what. I found that tree saying in an old Forbes article about motivational sayings for job seekers and it was just what I needed to put things into perspective and get some hope: I'm not completely wasting my time by starting a blog or doing a drawing a day or opening a twitter account. It's planting seeds. I need to keep watering and weeding now. And, unexpectedly, my consulting is going to be a paying gig - it was going to be pro bono but the clients insist (twist my arm) - so that's a nice confidence boost.

The Deep End

Stepped into the twitterverse three days ago and it's already overwhelming. Is it too much distraction or am I just not focused enough?

Cold Wind

Gads, it's windy. It started blowing yesterday afternoon and hasn't stopped. There are waves in the marsh, you can see whitecaps on the Bay. Only the crows and gulls seem unperturbed. Even the dog seems to be glad to be indoors. There's a constant whooshing coming through the chimney. It's garbage day- I wonder how many garbage cans will be knocked over?

Down the Rabbit Hole?

After about a week of working on my sister and her husband's project I remembered I started a blog. Ha! But meanwhile I found myself getting my toes wet in helping them product market. So much fun searching for information on a topic in which I have no expertise. The resume is mostly done, wish it had some sort of career arc to it. It looks like I'm trying on hats really. Who wants to hire that? I wish I could be Tim Ferriss: human guinea pig! Try new stuff ALL THE TIME. Written out like that it looks doable, it's the fear holding me back, the worry about making a living to support the family. What WOULD I dare if I knew I couldn't fail? I gotta get that coffee cup...

Today's dream is to get a not so challenging job and do something on the side. The not so challenging job would be in a different field, I'd probably have to take a pay cut, and I'd have some incentive to make the side business a success. What would that be like? Pretty satisfying, especially if the side business was good enough to sustain us. That would be awesome. Again: what would I dare if I knew I couldn't fail?

There's a Name for That

That feeling that I don't deserve my job title, that I don't deserve the salary I want, that I somehow lucked out and I'm never going to find another job that's going to value me and pay me more than what I was getting. It's called Impostor Syndrome and I've felt this way most of my adult life. This article at Pacific Standard nails it: Not Qualified for Your Job? Wait, You Probably Are

Now having a name for that feeling is great- I'm not alone- but now, we go through the process of disproving the feelings by documenting proof.